- Why I Fear Creativity
- In Process
- Announcements
Why I Fear Creativity
Most people assume I love creativity. I paint. I sculpt. I teach/coach creativity. I've written about it in Becoming a Life Change Artist. People have called me a creative catalyst. I have created a unique online resource, along with partners Kathy Jordan and Donna Krone, called The Coach's Studio; Where Outrageously Creative Coaching Happens. So ipso facto I must love creativity.
The truth is painfully different.
I believe we often tip toe around creativity. We try to be creative about ideas, about things. We play with them and come up with inventive solutions and we feel quite uplifted by the nimbleness we have exercised.
But we rarely apply the creative imperative to ourselves, our lives. In order to do so we need to take inventory, to self assess, to dig underneath and face ourselves stripped naked of artifice, self illusion--see ourselves in the raw, vulnerable buff.
I wrestle with this all the time in my painting. In certain moments when I am painting I have the illusion that I am painting something, anything other than myself. I am painting a bowl or a flower or a portrait of someone else. I relieve myself of self examination. I take refuge within my painting.
But it only lasts for a moment.
Ultimately I must come to terms with the fact that whatever I am painting I must stand in relationship to it. I must reintroduce myself to it. I cannot take cover. It is like a cross examination. Once something is introduced into evidence it is subject to all manner of questions. If I am painting the smallest of things I must assume a point of view toward this smallest of things. I introduce evidence of myself. And then the self/cross examination begins. And goes deeper and deeper. Ultimately, if I am going to paint this smallest of things, I must reveal myself in Full Monty. There is a terror in this. There are things I do not like. Things that cause pain. Myths I've sold to myself about myself. It's like going to the dentist for a cleaning. Everyday.
According to an old, old friend (Hi Hank!) who now lives in Bali, the Balinese celebrate their Nyepi (New Year) in a very unique way. "On this day," according to my friend, "the island goes dark in order to fool the evil spirits who fly over head into thinking there is no island below." When we do not respond to the requirements of creativity, it is like going dark to ourselves and others. But we are only trying to fool ourselves because creativity means standing in full light all the days of the year.
Of course, I could engage in transactional creativity. That is, determine what sells and paint that. There are lots of very competent transactional artists in this manner. They make a living. They stay on the surface. Like their paintings.
I wonder about this in our lives. How many of our relationships are transactional. How much of our lives are transactional. Good enough to get by. Good enough to make a living. Where we allow ourselves to go dark at some level.
What if we faced our fear and stood in deep relationship to ourselves and others. What would that look like? How might that change ourselves and others?
So this is a paradox. I fear creativity and yet cannot imagine my life without. Even if I cannot resist going dark more often than I would like.
In Process
Here are two charcoal drafts and two early stage oils of a multi-panel project I am working on. The two men are my grandfathers. The two women are my grandmothers. The challenge: Images alone fail to convey their full story.
Announcements:
Sneak Peek Opportunity
Since words often fall short of the actual experience we have decided to provide you with a sneak peek of The Coach's Studio; Where Outrageously Creative Coaching Happens between April 3rd and April 11th at any time that is convenient to you. Simply click on the link below, key in the user name and password below and voila! You're into several section for your learning pleasure.
http://www.blogger.com/www.lifechangeartists.com
User name: trial
Password: creative
If the sneak peek whets your appetite, you can sign up by clicking here.
If you'd like more info, just let me know and we can chat.
The Spring session begins on April 18!
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